How to say "No" to "No".

Every parent finds the easiest form of descipline is  saying 'no' to their child on their off the track demands. But as i have read about the advices from few parenting experts that there are better ways to deny than saying 'No' . Because it can lead to rebellion behaviour of your child in future. 
Saying 'No' is considered as kind of rude behaviour which may desensitize a child to its meaning. So it would be better to use the word for life threatenting situations created by your child. 
Insted use short polite phrases everytime they demand something you want to deny. I keep telling my kids that eating too much chocolates and candies will cause tooth decay followed by severe pain and ultemately tooth extraction ;a thousand times in a week. If they are stubborn , so am I. Just don't feel too tired to say it again and again. It really works. Atleast can provide little bit of more peace. 
Try to convince your child for a helthier option while eating. Engage them in kitchen with you . Take their little help. Just distract them from what they originally wanted. And never make a promice for tomorrow. Children tend to retain the thing in their mind and will keep reminding you of your promice unless and untill their wish is fullfilled. So stop making future promices for junkfood or anthing that is not good for your child. Insted surprise them some day by getting their wish fullfilled. 
So the process involved here is -
 Be Calm. 
Be Warm. 
Be Firm. 
Use an explanatory approach when your child throughs tantrums. And if your tot follows what you say, acknowledge them with your good behaviour with a compliment or a little reward . 
Most kids hate to be told what to do.
 You must be thinking that nobody is more stubborn than your once. Keep telling your kids about the awereness of feelings of all living beings around to develop empathy at an very early age.
I would like to mention a recent incidence which left me awestruck . During a family get- together , i was too busy at the kitchen. My sister's 3 yrs old daughter came to me and asked if i needed help. I said, " thanks dear. But i will manage." But she said again, " aunt,  my mom says that we should help others always, it makes them happy and it's good" .
She behaved like a real angel so innocently. Credits goes to her parents who really made efforts to develop that helping attitude in her right from the beginning.
So next time when it's time to say NO, just don't say it. Insted try to distract your child from that vary thought by starting a topic of humour . Tickle them, laugh with them and replace the thought in their mind meanwhile.
So keep yourself composed next time and behave like a Saint. You are a parent not a dictator.First know your limits then try to put limits on your child.

happy parentship. LET THEM GROW AND BE CREATIVE

split personality disorder of a very different order is named Being Parent.

We live our life  at a very normal pace when single.  It changes to normal after getting married and eventually abnormal after having kids. Folks！ its kids not a single kid. Life does not give you a real upside down feeling till you have two. It's like one goalkeeper serving at both the goalpost and rest of the players being one team hitting you hard at both ends nonstop, keeping you on toes , keeping u restless and breathless day and night. All the parents having a single child must be thinking that life with two kids must be much easier as they presume that two or or more than two kids can play together... could be busy together and parents will get their piece of mind back. But hold on , they will fight together too leaving you clueless about the origin of clash and how to put the catfight to an end. Ask those who are struggling with the same situation. you will dare to plan another. Although personally i always wanted a big family. I just wanted to see every chair of my dining area occupied atleast at dinners or breakfast. It sounds so good. But just after having my second angel; now i prefer to call her my ultimate destructor, i realized the power of naughtiness inside these little creatures crawling at the most forbidden places all the time. It seems like God has loaded their soul with amount of enery that is never exhaustible. Nobody could ever guess , that when and how and how many times these sweet little demons will blew your mind off in a day. Moreover you have to deal with your two kids simultaneously but still so differently that your moods keep swinging between extra polite and loving to extra harsh and rude every minute when they are around.
Science has proved that left and right side of our brain work differently. Thinking, analysing, and taking action are assigned to different parts of brain. Oh my God！Even science fails while dealing with those apple of our eyes cum extra sodium in our blood, keeping the pressure high most of the times. Yo will have no idea when and why  thinking part of your brain starts analysing, the later start taking actions and former takes over the thinking job. All mugged up. And as a result , the kind of reaction generally seen in humans called parents is that split personality disorder of a different order. That sounds funny but every parent out there could feel the sweet plight behind being parent. This is how life appears to us as soon as we have one or two kids but actually , this plight is the flight to the destination called pure bliss and happiness. Those little hands ready to crush everything around your house are the preciousest jewels around your neck. Those nonstop talks from that sweet little mouth are no less than ringing bells at a holy place. That naughty spark in their eyes could beat the twinkling of thousand stars.
Kids are presented to us like a bunch of fragrant, everfresh floral buds from almighty. We are the holding vace with water full of love, nutrients full of care and strong enough to protect them till they learn to be safe. And it is our duty to refill our heart with love, care and affection regularly to see them blooming, keem them at full bloom till we are old enough to get broken. Yes we start suffering from split personality disorder of that different order after having kids beacuse they help us to discover those hidden area of our personality which were never explored. Innocence of your kids can turn those  switches off in your personality  named selfishness, self centred, egoistic, harshness, jealousy , and so on. You start feeling a transformation inside you that may initially benefits your kids only but ultemately it will help you to become a better human being.
More concerened, more resposible, more loving and more contented. To sum up : a better u . We thought we are trying hard to shape them up but just look at them. There mere existance in your life transformed you from deep inside effortlessly. So be thankful if you are a good parent because that automatically certifies that you are a genuine soul existing on earth for a good reason.
Happy parentship.

Easy parenting

How being parents simply qualifies one for being patient.

It's good to be back to desk guys. The rains have been pouring in heavily since yesterday and so have been your views . They both so refreshing. So here we go to discuss another essential of parenting, and that is PATIENCE. Oxford dictionary describes the word patiens as-  the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. So lets concentrate on the first word- CAPACITY . Everyone of you reading here are capable of understnding this word, i hope so. Jokes apart, some of you will be capable of cooking delicious food, some will be capable of creating good music, poetry and so on. But again i would like to ask - did u inherit it. Ofcource not. Even if you are son or daughter of a renowned musician, you are not born with the understanding of musical knots. You start learning the skill day by day as you have that atmosphere around you. You keep practicing and one day you become just the perfect. Although peaple credit your acheivement to your lineage and will say it runs in your blood. But if they could look closely, its more about your will to learn, time devotion and consistent practice, which lead u there. Ofcource guidance matters but that acts as just a push. Winners are those who run fastest. 

So back to word in discussion. When a couple is blessed with a child, both of them start applying there long gethered knowledge to groom their kid as soon as the little mosaic creature start walking or saying those difficult to translate words.we start behaving like the ultimate preachers. Yes, you teach everything best to your kid but have you forgot one important thing.It's time for you to learn also. And it's your child itself who will teach you how to be a good parent.you want your child to be best, he or she also deserves to be nurtured by best parents. So the very first and most important lesson you could learn from your child is patiens. It is not easy for a mother to carry a foetus in her womb for so long.But is it easy for a living being to be in a small dark water-filled muscular bag in 24×7 floating condition. Imagine it, it is not easy. Ur little bundle of joy showed great patiens more than you during that gestation phase. So ofcource he or she is eligible to teach you how to be more patient while dealing with fuss created by apple of your eyes. So next time when you loose your senses over your kid's endless annoying tantrum, just before you leap towards a hasty reaction, say to yourself- STOP .

Take a deep long breath. Hold your child's small little palms , look at his/her eyes in a calm and composed manner and just say I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING . Think about your adorable child's inborn qualities. Look at those damn beautiful, deep , naughty but beautiful eyes which can look down to your soul. Beleive me it were your parents who could understand you through your heart , soul and mind and it will be your  kids who are blessed with this power to feel the way you feel.Husbands and wives are though soulmates but you agree or not physically you are not born out of them or given birth to them. A life partner can part ways anytime during life's tough journey but your kids will never if they are brought well. 

Dolls for your Doll

So as you will realise in a few seconds after looking into your ward's eyes that you were shouting uselessly. He or she is 
growing normally. This is how normal kids behave. Nothing insane about it. They will not spill the food around after few years when they will learn to eat properly, they will not pee on you when they will learn to use the washroom. They will not break your favourite vace when they will learn to decorate the house, they will not cry endlessly without reason if they are paid attention continuously. They will not make your life hell , as we generally vomit these harsh words when extremely angry, when one day they will leave your house for higher studies or a job or for living in with someone you hate to see. Before this happens , think about it. Live the moment happily. These will not come again. Sometimes our kids make us angry, at the same time they can teach us to have patiens. Say to them, - whatever mess you have done kids, let us do it together. Go for it buddy. Those stress -releiving hormones will be gushed down to your blood making you more than happier. When we start enjoying parentship, patiens are evantually developed. Giggle with your kids, sing with them those beautiful rhymes, dance with them at your own silly compositions. Dat' s all about parentship. Keep teaching your child-keep learning from them. It's all joy and at the end it's the last thing that matters. C you again.Till then happy parentship.

parenting is not just raising kids,its nurturing kids.

Parenting as everyone perceives is not just raising kids, it is about nurturing and transforming a part of you into a human being better than you. It is the almighty who creates and crafts all living beings but those are surely the parents who help the muscle-bone creature to start its journey to become perfect human. I remember my childhood days,and those were really the days. My existance on this earth was like a pitcher full of questions. And my parents were the epitome of wisdom to answer all my silly to meaningful queries. I think being a good parent  has not much to do with wisdom. Afterall everybody has been blessed with a little bit of common sence and traces of wisdom on this earth. The degree to measure how gud as a parent we are, is the amount of patience one possess. And beleive me its not a hereditary thing. So dont blame your genes next time when you get irritated at your ward's silly questions. Patience is a quality which could be developed although slowly but definitely. Even if anybody's parents were not that patient towards them, it doesn't mean to rewrite the history for your kids. I personally feel that when a child is born, at the same time its the fresh start  for parents too.Afterall this designation of being parents changes our existance altogether. Yes, its ur rebirth. So feel rejuvenated as this new begining is giving you an opportunity to live your childhood again. Behave like a kid with your kids, behave like teens when they are young and be there friend when they become eligible for drinking alcohol. Dat was on a fun quotient ,hope nobody minds it. And you see, you lived your lost years again. May be you become best of friends . And that would be really amazing. The term generation gap will never widen the distance between you and your kids if u reincarnate with part of your soul, part of your heart, part of your love for your life partner. 
Keep reading  folks. Will open my heart and ofcource mind to write more on parenting. I am sure, this blog of mine will be  quite helpful to you in dealing with your kids in a more friendly manner.. Dats why i call this art of nurturing your kids not just parenting, its Parentship.C u soon. Till then Happy Parentship.